As the world turns
We all experience things in life
Trials and tribulations, that we all must go through
When someone wants to test us
When someone tries our patience
I hang with a bunch of hippies and wacky tobacco planters
Who swallow lit roaches and light up like jack-o-lanterns
Outsidaz baby, and we suin' the courts
Cause we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The Source, yo
They never shoulda booted me outta reform school
Deformed fool, taking a shit in a warm pool
Till they threw me out the Ramada Inn
I said it wasn't me, I got a twin
"Oh my God, it's you! Not again!"
It all started when my mother took my bike away
'Cause I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave
After that, it was straight to the 40 ouncers
Slappin' teachers and jackin' off in front of my counselors
Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman
Fuck the next lesson, I'll pass the test guessin'
And all the other kids said "Eminem is a thizz head"
"He'll never last, the only class he'll ever pass is phys-ed"
Maybe true, till I told this bitch in gym class
That she was too fat to swim laps she need a Slim Fast
Yeah, bitch, you so big, you walked into Vic Tanny's and stepped on Jenny Craig
She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig
Put me in a headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig
I felt the evilness and started transformin'
It began stormin', I heard a bunch of cheerin' fans swarmin'
Grabbed that bitch by her hair, drug her across the ground
And took her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down
Sorry coach, it's too late to tell me stop
While I drop this bitch face down and watch her belly flop
As the world turns
These are the days of our lives
These are the things that we must go through, day by day
We drive around in million dollar sports cars
While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards
Outsidaz, and we suing the courts
'Cause we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The Source
Hypochondriac, hanging out at the laundromat
Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blondes be at
Dressed like a sailor, standin' by a pail of garbage
It's almost dark and I'm still tryna nail a trailer park bitch
I met a slut and said "What up? It's nice to meet ya"
"I'd like to treat you to a Faygo and a slice of pizza"
"But I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first of next month"
"But if you would care to join me, I was about to roll this next blunt"
"But I ain't got no weed, no Phillies, or no papers"
"Plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist"
"So give me all your money and don't try nothing funny"
"'Cause you know your stinking ass is too fat to try to outrun me"
I went to grab my gun, that's when her ass put it on me
With an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry
I fell through the glass doors, started causing a scene
Slid across the floor and flew right into a washing machine
Jumped up with a broken back
Thank God I was smokin' crack all day and doped up on coke and smack
All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse
Now I wanna kill her
But yo, I gotta catch her first
Ran through Rally's parkin' lot and took a shortcut
Saw the house she ran up in and shot her fuckin' porch up
Kicked the door down to murder this divorced slut
Looked around the room that's when I seen her bedroom door shut
I know you're in there bitch, I got my gun cocked
You might as well come out now, she said "Come in, it's unlocked"
I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne
And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin' gay porn
She said "Come here big boy, let's get acquainted"
I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it
She came at me at full speed, nothing could stop her
I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her
I started to beg "No, please let go"
But she swallowed my fuckin' leg whole like an egg roll
With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled
I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple
Just tryna buy me some time then I remembered this magic trick
Go-go gadget dick!
Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it
It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage
I shouted "Now bitch, let's see who gets the best"
Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death
"Come here, bitch!"
"Come here! Take this mothafuckin' dick, bitch!"
And as we go along, throughout the days of our lives
We all face small obstacles and challenges everyday
That we must go through
These are the things that surround us through our atmosphere, every day
Every single day the world keeps turning
Writer(s): Marshall Mathers, Jeff Bass, Mark Bass
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